Bible Verses

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” – Ephesians 4-29

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” – John 13-34

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15-13

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” – James 1:19-20

Christian Bible Lesson Overview

It is important to do everything we can to avoid anger.  As we have all seen, when we allow ourselves to get angry, we lose control of our emotions, which causes us to do things that we regret later.  Developing strong relationships with family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, Church members, and people we meet at random; leads us to strong relationships that benefit everyone. 

When developing relationships, whether a friendship, family member or marriage, exercise control and give the other person/people the freedom to make mistakes without damaging the relationship.  When you are hurt by something a friend or family member said or did, do your best not to react too quickly.  Give yourself time to think about what happened.  If the other person did not intentionally try to hurt you, exercise as much restraint as possible to give yourself time to try to understand what happened.  Do not weaken a relationship because you did not have enough self-control to think about the other person and what caused their action.

Christian Bible Lesson for Today

Randy after practice

Randy is a college student who earned a college football scholarship.  He is very competitive because it is important for him to appear better than everyone else.  He worked hard to get credit for the good things he accomplished.  He put his status above the quality of his friendships with other students or other players on the team. 

Randy’s approach: working to get as much credit as possible, worked fine until he needed help from the other players.  Randy started getting angry at other players when they made mistakes or did not play as well as Randy thought they should.  Randy would get angry and scream at other players. 

Soon the other players began to not try as hard to support Randy.  Randy was not able to perform as well.  Of course, he got angry and lashed out at other players during the games.  Soon Randy realized he can not perform without the support of the other players.  He made them angry, and he had no idea what to do.

The coach noticed the problem right away.  The coach talked with Randy’s father and explained that Randy needed to support the other players and quit trying to get all the credit for himself.  The coach made it clear that the situation was not good, and that Randy will not be able to play much longer if there is not a major change in behavior.

Randy’s father knew Randy’s personality and was aware that he had a difficult time making friends because he always wanted to be better than other people.  The father talked with Randy and explained to him that he needed to stop worrying about himself and do his best to help other people around him.  His father told him that either he changed his behavior and quit getting angry at people who made mistakes, or he will lose control of his future.  His father told him to try to help his teammates, not make them look bad.  His father said he either change his approach or quit playing football and find another college because this one college is very expensive without a scholarship.

Randy thought about what his father told him.  He wanted to continue his education at that school, and he wanted to keep playing football.  He met with the coach as his father suggested and the coach prepared a plan for him to change his relationship with the other players.

Randy focused all his energy on supporting the team and did not think about his credit.  He spent extra time helping the new plays learn some important skills.  He was amazed at how quickly his situation changed.  It was the coach and the other players that made life better for him.  Now he wanted to make life better for other players.  Randy was amazed at how much happier he was when his teammates did well. What a change from the way he used to act.  Before he never felt truly happy, he just wanted to look good.  Now he was happy when other people did well. 

Christian Bible Lesson Summary

Developing solid relationships is critical whether with your family, friends, fellow workers, neighbors, or strangers.  Helping other people and controlling your anger will make life much better for them and you.  It is a matter of changing your priorities to support other people and having the discipline to control yourself when facing situations that used to make you angry. 

This does not mean letting people deliberately take advantage of you.  But do not allow yourself to sink into other people’s level when they take advantage.  Control your anger and take the time to think about how your actions affect you and other people.

Published by Jim Brandt

Jim Brandt was an all-conference college football player and served as a Marine Corps pilot during the Vietnam War. He also started a software company and served as an executive for the fifth-largest bank in the United States. Brandt won the Democratic party nomination for Congress twice. He is married and has three children.

48 replies on “Christian Bible Lesson 114: Build Relationships”

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