Bible Verses

“Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.”. – Romans 12-19

“So the Lord said to him, “Therefore whoever kills Cain, vengeance will be taken on him sevenfold.” And the Lord appointed a sign for Cain, so that no one finding him would slay him.”– Geneses 4-15 

“You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord.” - Leviticus 19:18

“Vengeance is Mine, and retribution, In due time their foot will slip;
For the day of their calamity is near, And the impending things are hastening upon them.” - Deuteronomy 32:35

“Do not say, “I will repay evil”; Wait for the Lord, and He will save you.” - Proverbs 20:22

Christian Bible Lesson Overview

When someone attacks you verbally, take the time to think about your situation and your response.  Do not allow someone else to cause you to act in an inappropriate manner in conflict with your values.  If you respond, start with a soft comment, like “I am sorry you feel that way”.  Do not escalate your conversation to the level of the other person. 

If you do respond in a similar manner to the person who verbally attacked you, the entire situation will escalate to a higher level of anger and the other person may attack even more.

It is important to maintain your character regardless of the way other people approach you.  When you respond to an insult with a soft comment like stated above, “I am sorry you feel that way”, you are giving the other person an opportunity to save face and reduce the tension.  If the other person does not reduce the tension, you can leave the conversation without additional comments.  At least you will not have reduced your character to match that of the other person.

Christian Bible Lesson for Today

Jean talking with Doug

Jean worked as a life insurance agent.  She graduated with her bachelor’s college degree two years earlier.  The office where she worked had eight other agents and two managers.  Jean liked all her fellow agents except one, Doug.  Jean and Doug started working for the company at about the same time.  During the two years they worked together Doug made several comments in front of the other agents that were negative about Jean.  Jean began responding with negative comments of her own.  The conflict between Jean and Doug escalated to a level where the other agents were concerned. 

Jean had one close friend, Sandy.  Jean and Sandy had lunch together.  Sandy told Jean that she needs to tone down her conflict with Doug.  Sandy said that she understands that Doug is not a good person, but Sandy felt Jean should not lower herself to his level.  Sandy told Jean that she should use self-discipline and avoid engaging in negative conversations. 

Jean asked how she could avoid conversations when Doug keeps attacking her.  Sandy said for her to pause when Doug made one of his negative remarks and then make a neutral comment, like, “I am sorry you see it that way”.  Then let it go.  Sandy said Doug will either drop the conversation or continue to escalate the conversation.  Either way, Doug is the one with the negative character.

Jean thought about Sandy’s suggestion.  Jean saw the wisdom in the approach and decided to follow the suggestion.  The next time Doug attacked Jean verbally, Jean paused and then had a simple response that did not attack Doug.  Doug was surprised and quit attacking Jean.

Christian Bible Lesson Summary

It is not important to win a conversation.  It is important to maintain your own dignity and not lower yourself to the level of someone who verbally attacks you.  You are not in competition to win a conversation, but it is important to maintain your dignity and self-worth. 
Do not change your personality or your values to respond to someone who is verbally attacking or insulting you.  Maintain the person you are and continue to respect other people, even if they do not respect you.

Published by Jim Brandt

Jim Brandt was an all-conference college football player and served as a Marine Corps pilot during the Vietnam War. He also started a software company and served as an executive for the fifth-largest bank in the United States. Brandt won the Democratic party nomination for Congress twice. He is married and has three children.